I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
