I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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