it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
