I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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