your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
