i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
