Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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