apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
