Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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