Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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