The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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