I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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