Your face is a jimmy john
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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