You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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