what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
