Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You need a sexual gate keeper
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
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