I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
