the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize