He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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