Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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