sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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