I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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