I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
