Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
