There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
