I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
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The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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