we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I think a kid would responsible me up
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
