one might say we're banned from that church
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
