I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
