Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
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This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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