and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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