so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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