dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Randomize
