You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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