You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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