it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
