i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Randomize
