You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
