Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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