Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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