matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
