3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Randomize