He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Randomize
