escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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