well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
