butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
