I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize