I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
