My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
