this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
