Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
