Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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