He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
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