Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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