Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
