Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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