Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
