The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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