How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize