I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
What drink are we having for lunch?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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